Girl Lost

I woke up this morning and decided to write. Before anything I ate, then brewed some lemon tea (I’ve always loved tea), this life is a gift. I haven’t had the right amount of sleep in days. I’m mentally exhausted for reasons that are unknown to me all I know is something is not right. I don’t want to go outside because of fear. Fear that people will get the wrong idea…again.

When I get into a place where I feel words need to be written, I start to write. I’ve had blogs for several years. Although, I think this could be taken out of context like everything else.

When your back is up against the wall and you don’t know what else to do but count every breath and everyday I have alive. 

I titled this post girl lost: losing faith because I have lost faith. I have been reading The Tao Te Ching for clarity. People have personal choices that they are able to make. Everyone but me, of course. I have noticed that people (in general) want to think what they want to think of you. I am a loving person. Nothing like what people (in general) tend to believe and it is very heartbreaking. I’ve been very emotional. Mostly sad. Depressed. Depressed for knowing I’ll go down in history for being who I am not and no one cares about that but me, of course.

The last thing I ever want is attention and in the past couple of weeks attention is all I have received. I never claimed these claims. I never claimed to be anyone other than myself. I never said anyone is wrong… I never said anyone is right. I never said or done anything I knew would harm people or a person. I have been offended and destroyed to the point where no one can fathom the hurt I feel.

Because people (in general) don’t know who I am, I have started to lose myself. In a world of confusion and I am clearly confused. But I know who I am and always have been. I won’t ever lose my sense of self. I won’t ever get to the point where I don’t know who I am, but people (in general) have been trying to confuse me by what and who they think I am. Knowledge of who I am is not there. At all.

All I ask is peace. Leave me alone. Please. All I ask.




Mark Your Calendar: “Ice Like Fire” Will Be Available This Month!

17404295Hey, guys. I know it’s been a while, but I want to tell you about one of the best trilogies or series I’ve ever read! Book #2 in the Snow Like Ashes trilogy/series will be releasing on October 13th. Have you preordered Ice Like Fire? Let me back up a bit, have you read Snow Like Ashes? If you haven’t, you are missing out! And if you have, you may want to read the last four chapters or so if you forgot the conclusion. It was epic!

If you’ve read the first book, let me know how you feel about it! If you’re excited about the second book, tell me how excited you are! I honestly can’t wait. I haven’t decided if I want to preorder it on my Kindle or wait for release day and pick it up at my local Barnes & Noble. Decisions. Many individuals in the book community have review copies and are currently reading. Make sure you stay away from their tweets on Twitter and other social outlets. I know it’s hard, but keep the faith! Beware of spoilers!

Recall: Books Read In June 2015

young elitesJune was all about reading the Angelfall trilogy, finishing up books I put aside, and new books I found the time for reading. I finished reading Half Wild  and Young Elites that I didn’t finish reading before I took a break. I started reading Talon in June, but did not finish it in time. I can’t believe how fast I read the trilogy! That can only mean it was good! I’m really excited about this month’s reads! I don’t have a list like always, but I will review the books I read. The books included in this post have reviews that you can check out.

half wild

world afterend of daysangelfall

rebel belle

Book Review: Power Is A Dangerous Game…

RedQueenI’ve heard several views of Red Queen, so I wanted to read the book for myself. The reviews I read before I got into the book told me that people either really loved the book or really hated the book. It sparked my interest immediately, so I picked it up! (From my local library, of course). The characters of the story and what they deal with definitely remind me of Red Rising and Falling KingdomsThe story reminds me of Red Rising because the characters have to go through a rough life because of who they are. Instead of it being the color of their skin, it’s the color of their blood that makes them different and cause strife. I am reminded of Falling Kingdoms too because the last person who would become royalty does become royalty and that person is hidden from others.

The story begins with a girl named Mare Barrow who lives with her family in the land of Reds and Silvers where the color of your blood determines your status in life. If that isn’t hard enough to fathom, when a person turns a certain age they have to be conscripted, meaning drafted, to the army and it’s usually when they turn 17 (If I remember correctly). Barrow isn’t the best upstanding citizen. She does many things that aren’t lawful, which she sees as a way to get buy and survive because she’s treated unequally as a Red and she feels she lives in the shadow of her perfect younger sister. One day while out on the run from her actions in a recent event she couldn’t stand to face, she stumbles upon a young man named Cal who will eventually change her life forever.

I think there’s realism in the story. I think the characters act and think in ways that we would in our every day lives if we were in their situation. Was the story predictable? A little, not much. Like I said before, it did remind me of two other books, but other than that I found the story to be a pleasant read. This book is labeled as young adult, but it’s a very mature read that older adults would enjoy as well. The mysterious nature of the story is what kept me reading until the end. I was trying to figure out who was betraying who! I had questions like, “How can anyone not notice this is happening? This is too easy to get by with!” And behold, in the end all of my questions were answered. It’s really well written as far as having the reader second guess what they thought before. I loved that expect of it.

I recommend this book. There is a second book in the works and a third. I’m excited to see how events will unfold in the next installment.

A Lady Never Starts A Fight, But She’ll Finish it…

rebel belleA lady never starts a fight, but she’ll complain after

I wanted to read this book because I am a southern belle! Born and raised in Louisiana, so I was interested. This story really gave us southern girls a bad name. The story is mainly about an overachieving, judgmental, and well off teen named Harper who is part of every organization there is in high school to decorate her transcript for college. With that said, she is also very annoying. I can’t see how her friends and boyfriend put up with her on a daily basis! She’s so consumed with her own life and what she has to do with little care for others. Us southern girls are not that way. I am sure what’s in the book is the general view of how society sees southern belles, but it can’t be farther from the truth! However, I did like how Harper’s character was made to be one of the potential valedictorians of her high school, so it wasn’t all bad.

I think it’s comical that a young girly girl has a date with destiny and becomes a sword wielding, karate chopping Paladin to one of the boys she’s hated since grade school. Her life gets interrupted before she is crowned Homecoming Queen, then she was given the powers from a dying man to become a Paladin, but that didn’t take away her extreme lady habits (I wish it did).

I am 81% done with this book and I’m not sure if I will finish it. It’s taken me longer to read than others because it isn’t a gripping tale to me. The story is really light and fluffy. It doesn’t go into much detail to not be able to put it down. It’s more comical than anything. I’m used to reading well written fantasy novels, but this is fantasy with a super girly twist. This book is great for teen girls who like kickass lead characters and not into the traditional fantasy novels. I was going to buy this book and I’m glad I didn’t. It will be heading back to the library soon. Like I said, this story is great for teens and even preteens; not entertaining to a 29 year old! If you enjoyed or interested in reading Rebel Belle, the next book in the trilogy or duology is Miss Mayhem that has already been released.

Happy reading!

Penryn and The End of Days (Book Two and Book Three) Review

world afterSince I read book two and book three so closely together, I decided to put the reviews of both books in one post. I thought it would be easier that way. I haven’t read a trilogy back to back and so quickly before this one. I practically ate them! World After is a continuation of Angelfall. It was action backed and I was able to read more about Raffe and other angels and why the world was the way it was.  It wasn’t what sparked the war between humans and angels. I’m assuming the war began because Archangel Gabriel was killed, but I’m not sure by who (humans or angels). The story didn’t quite clear that up. Part of the story is about who will replace Archangel Gabriel as the Messenger and of course there are swords, demons, and monsters in the mix. There isn’t much I can say about World After without giving the whole trilogy away just in case you all would like to read it.

end of days Again, I can’t say much without giving the story away. End of Days was what I expected and not what I expected at all. I feel there was a lot left to be read and known. I feel the events happened too quickly. The first two books built a fun and exciting story. The last book didn’t quite hold up to it. In some chapters I thought Ms. Ee was just writing to fill up space. There was a ton of information that didn’t contribute anything substantial to the story. It was like “seat filling.”

What I loved about this trilogy is that no matter what ailment you have or how you look, you can always find a way to contribute to society. There’s an array of unique, colorlful characters filling the pages of this trilogy that I believe we can all learn from. Yes, this is a telling of the end days featuring archangels and their threat to humanity, but it also reveals how terrible humans can be to other humans just by their appearance or the environment they live in where they have to fight over food just to survive. Ms. Ee incorporated several social issues in this book that makes reading this book more than just entertainment. I highly recommend this trilogy!